The end is nigh

And so, the end is nigh.

I cleared out my locker in the library today... schools dinner yesterday... All these little things that together consipire to say The End. I try to ignore the fact that we're nearly finished. That what, back in the first year, seemed an interminable length of time, has now been reduced to fewer days than I have fingers. Even if I do plan to hang around and visit next year, it won't be the same. I won't BE here anymore. I'll just be a hanger-on, a wannabe, one that has to let go.

Today was good. Waking up late, trying to ignore the finals lurgy, listening to Amy's recital - very very good, chilling with Marc in Magdalen, Catz for a BBQ, frisbee and football. Seeing my friends, being sociable, its fun, but its sad. In the back of my mind I am slowing counting down the occasions of merriment that remain - 'this is the last time I will do this' I think 'this could be the last time I will see this person. The last time I will spend time with them.' Although the rational part of me realises that the world is small, everyone will probably converge on London eventually, and even if they don't, that the above is nevertheless untrue, still, I know it won't be the same.

'I am safe; it is only change', my power thought card reads. 'The 'old' unfolds into wonderful new experiences. My life gets better all the time'. And so I am sure it does, yet the future, and the unknown, is still faced with a hint of trepidation.